Before It's Too Late

Picture perfect memories were scattered all over the parquet floor. Ruth knelt down and picked up the pictures one by one and placed them back neatly into the box she accidentally dropped earlier. Ruth spotted a folded piece of paper peeping out among the pictures. She gently unfolded the letter and gazed at the handwriting before reading the content. Halfway through, a sudden overwhelming guilt and sorrow came over her again and Ruth cried her heart out, all alone in the empty house, holding the piece of paper; his last testament, close to her heart.

“Is he not doing enough for you, Ruth?” Roslyn questioned Ruth over the phone. Roslyn sounded extremely furious and that gave Ruth goose bumps. She had never seen or heard her sister raging in years. Why Roslyn supported her brother in law and not her is beyond Ruth’s understanding. Ruth took a deep breath and continued defending herself like she did for the past half an hour. “It’s not that. I need my space, Rose. I need my freedom. I’ve missed two years of my life. I can never be the wife he wants me to be. I can’t do anything without him sticking his nose in it! It just annoys me!” There was an awkward silence and Ruth heard a loud sigh on the other end of the line. “Fine, suit yourself. But Ruth, you’ll regret it someday.”

Ruth knocked on the brown door that was seemingly familiar to her. A frail figure opened it and Ruth recognized her soon to be ex husband immediately thought he looked unkempt and lost. She noticed his striking blue eyes looking straight at hers, thought it was red, swollen and had visible dark circles. His perhaps a week unshaven face displayed his sadness. He doesn’t look anything like the Chris she met three years ago. Deep inside, Ruth knew she was the reason for his current condition. “Honey, I thought I will never see you ever again. Ruth, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Please rethink. I love you. I’m sorry. I promise I won’t do what made you angry anymore. I did everything out of love and only that. If I knew…” Ruth held up her hand to signal Chris to stop. “Chris, I’ve made up my mind. I’ve made a mistake. It’s best if we go separate ways. I want back my freedom. You asked me to come and I did. And this is my last visit. If you want me to be happy, let me go.” And Ruth left the house for the last time, not wanting to look back.

That morning, Ruth found herself waking up in a strange room different from her own. The last thing she remembered was her packing her belongings. She turned to her right and saw a familiar middle aged woman in a white coat; stethoscope hanging around her neck, smiling at her. “Thank God I decided to visit. Imagine the horror when I found you lying there, motionless.” Ruth turned left towards the voice and saw Rose. The woman on her right took over, “Nothing to worry, Ruth. I have good news.” and she paused as if to maintain suspense. “You are going to be a mother! I am quite surprised Christian isn’t here. You should inform him immediately. He will be delighted!” Ruth immediately felt a rush of adrenaline inside of her. She did not hear Dr. Linda’s next few sentences. When she snapped back to reality, she heard Dr. Linda say, “You know, you cannot get a better husband than him. You are very lucky, Ruth.” The gynecologist left the room leaving Roslyn and Ruth together.

“She is right. Remember the accident on the night of your wedding? You went into coma stage that lasted two years. That left Chris heartbroken. He had sleepless nights. I saw him cry. Only then I realized his love for you. Chris took care of you, Ruth. He sacrificed his time, money and energy for you. He was there for you even when mom and I weren’t. He had only you. Your recovery recovered him. Don’t break him again. He loves you, Ruth. He will be the happiest person if he knows you are pregnant. He will be a great father, I’m sure.” Roslyn patted Ruth’s shoulder and left the room. In the loneliness, Ruth pondered upon what Roslyn said. Ruth realized she had no reason to leave him except for her selfish excuses. Her short term dream isn’t going to match her husband’s love for her. She recalled everything that he had done for her which was blinded by her selfishness then. Their child needs a father. She realized she would be crazy to miss a husband like that. Ruth left the hospital that day looking forward to meet Chris.

Ruth’s mobile rang when she was dressing up to meet Chris. She answered, grunting, unable to recognize the number, “Miss Ruth Edwards? We are calling from St. Joseph Hospital. Your husband, Mr. Christian Edwards, was involved in an accident earlier. Ma’am, I’m sorry to tell to that he passed away on the way to the hospital. Our deep condolences. We are waiting for your arrival.”

The funeral procession ended an hour ago. Ruth was sitting at the corner of the room emotionless. She simply stared without blinking, at the white casket that contained Chris’s body, lying peacefully without a single scar on him.

Ruth entered the parquet floored room and opened the closet at the corner of the room. She took out a box containing pictures of her and Chris together. Her eyes filled with tears. If only she appreciated him earlier, he would have been very much alive now. He died not knowing she isn’t leaving him. He died not knowing he is going to be a father. He died heartbroken. And it was all her fault. It is true that you will only realize how precious a person is when you lose them or when they are far from you. She learnt that everything and everyone should be appreciated while they last. She also knew that it is too late to regret now.

The box dropped to the floor, scattering its content. There lied a letter, Chris’s last testament to his beloved wife, Ruth.

LOVE

when we claim that it's love that we have for someone, are we correct? hmmm..that's something to ponder upon....
Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest when you see them, or at least think about them?
ITS NOT LOVE, ITS CALLED LIKE.
You cant keep your eyes or hands off of them, am i right?
ITS NOT LOVE, ITS LUST.
Are you proud, and eager to show them off?
ITS NOT LOVE, ITS LUCK.
Do you want them because you know they're there?
ITS NOT LOVE, ITS LONELINESS.
Are you there because that's what everyone wants?
ITS NOT LOVE, ITS LOYALTY.
Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand?
ITS NOT LOVE, ITS LOW CONFIDENCE.
Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you dont want to hurt them?
ITS NOT LOVE, ITS PITY.
Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat?
ITS NOT LOVE, ITS INFATUATION.
Do you pardon their faults because you care bout them?
ITS NOT LOVE, ITS FRIENDSHIP.
Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake?
ITS NOT LOVE, ITS CHARITY.
Does your heat ache and break when they're sad?
THEN ITS LOVE.
Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?
THEN ITS LOVE.
Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
THEN ITS LOVE.
Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you there?
THEN ITS LOVE.
Do you accept their faults because they are a part of who they are?
THEN ITS LOVE.
Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret?
THEN ITS LOVE.
Would you allow them to leave you, not because they want to but because they
have to?
THEN ITS LOVE.
Would you give them your heart, your life, your death?
THEN ITS LOVE.
Now, if love is so painful, and tortures us so, why do we love? Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony? Why is it all we long for? This torture, this powerful death of self? Why?
The answer is so simple cause its...LOVE. It is such an addiction that even people who are not having it wish to experience and share it.
That is simply the speciality of LOVE.

No matter where you are, you are here, in my heart.

"And ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." --Kahlil Gibran

What’s it like to have a lover that lives half way around the world? Distance relationship is one of the types of love that is always taken for granted. Not everyone agrees with it. It is maybe because of the grim fact that it is almost impossible to succeed or because it’s not so popular compared to the other member of the family tree; love at first sight, infatuation etc. People have their opinion. like me, i still don't believe in love at first sight. But then once we get to know that someone actually found their life partner from a very different way, we tend to be fascinated by them and cant help but to ask how they did it. Well, it is definitely human nature to be captivated by something that unique.

Frankly speaking, I once thought that distance relationship is impossible. How can you even think about loving someone without seeing, touching them? But this is the 21^st century. Next thing you know, you might as well see some with lover’s from other planets! Imagine that !
Distant relationship showed me that love has no boundaries at all. Well yes, there is one, ‘Distance’..duh... but then these lovers decided that this should not ever come across their love for each other. They talk to each other, fight, argue, show concern, care, love to each other daily the same way, well in this case maybe online or via mobile but they don’t have any boundaries literally. Distance relationship is only about loving someone without their lovers by the side, literally. ( p.s they are in your heart, thats nt very far is it? )Other than that everything else is just the same. and when they finally meet, BOOM !, it all comes together.

I’m sure most of us have seen movies about people falling in love through letters, phones etc. ( think The Lake House ) This proves that is it not impossible..and it's not fair to say it's impossible. And if it's true personally i think it’s the most meaningful love among all the love ever existed. Long distance relationships require a special willingness and understanding that can test love like no other type of relationship can. It requires constant communication and a desire to continually create your relationship, using the only real tool you have... your words.Yes. It’s also a very disturbing fact that no one can be trusted even someone from your own bloodline needless to say a total stranger you didn’t even meet but don’t you think the person from the opposite sex that you fall in love with was once a stranger too?

It is a very bold love as it’s a very difficult choice to make but love is all about trusting someone. They learn how to accept, they learn how to be patient, they learn how to really trust someone with all their heart and most importantly they learn to be true themselves. All these aspects are the one’s that are crucial for a love to be true and to last. If both party are true to each other, then the chemistry will work. undeniably, there are people meeting on the net, fell in love and got married. we tend to always start appreciating something or someone more only after they are gone...In distant relationship's case, the lovers are already apart, so they cherish every moment 'together' and love each other more everyday..there will never be questions of cheating, two timing is both are true to each other

Sweet pleasure is not without bitterness. I am not saying that this relationship works all the time because there are lots and lots of things that you have to consider but it is not completely impossible. It can and does happen. You love with your heart, not your mind. Believe in it.

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