Before It's Too Late

Picture perfect memories were scattered all over the parquet floor. Ruth knelt down and picked up the pictures one by one and placed them back neatly into the box she accidentally dropped earlier. Ruth spotted a folded piece of paper peeping out among the pictures. She gently unfolded the letter and gazed at the handwriting before reading the content. Halfway through, a sudden overwhelming guilt and sorrow came over her again and Ruth cried her heart out, all alone in the empty house, holding the piece of paper; his last testament, close to her heart.

“Is he not doing enough for you, Ruth?” Roslyn questioned Ruth over the phone. Roslyn sounded extremely furious and that gave Ruth goose bumps. She had never seen or heard her sister raging in years. Why Roslyn supported her brother in law and not her is beyond Ruth’s understanding. Ruth took a deep breath and continued defending herself like she did for the past half an hour. “It’s not that. I need my space, Rose. I need my freedom. I’ve missed two years of my life. I can never be the wife he wants me to be. I can’t do anything without him sticking his nose in it! It just annoys me!” There was an awkward silence and Ruth heard a loud sigh on the other end of the line. “Fine, suit yourself. But Ruth, you’ll regret it someday.”

Ruth knocked on the brown door that was seemingly familiar to her. A frail figure opened it and Ruth recognized her soon to be ex husband immediately thought he looked unkempt and lost. She noticed his striking blue eyes looking straight at hers, thought it was red, swollen and had visible dark circles. His perhaps a week unshaven face displayed his sadness. He doesn’t look anything like the Chris she met three years ago. Deep inside, Ruth knew she was the reason for his current condition. “Honey, I thought I will never see you ever again. Ruth, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Please rethink. I love you. I’m sorry. I promise I won’t do what made you angry anymore. I did everything out of love and only that. If I knew…” Ruth held up her hand to signal Chris to stop. “Chris, I’ve made up my mind. I’ve made a mistake. It’s best if we go separate ways. I want back my freedom. You asked me to come and I did. And this is my last visit. If you want me to be happy, let me go.” And Ruth left the house for the last time, not wanting to look back.

That morning, Ruth found herself waking up in a strange room different from her own. The last thing she remembered was her packing her belongings. She turned to her right and saw a familiar middle aged woman in a white coat; stethoscope hanging around her neck, smiling at her. “Thank God I decided to visit. Imagine the horror when I found you lying there, motionless.” Ruth turned left towards the voice and saw Rose. The woman on her right took over, “Nothing to worry, Ruth. I have good news.” and she paused as if to maintain suspense. “You are going to be a mother! I am quite surprised Christian isn’t here. You should inform him immediately. He will be delighted!” Ruth immediately felt a rush of adrenaline inside of her. She did not hear Dr. Linda’s next few sentences. When she snapped back to reality, she heard Dr. Linda say, “You know, you cannot get a better husband than him. You are very lucky, Ruth.” The gynecologist left the room leaving Roslyn and Ruth together.

“She is right. Remember the accident on the night of your wedding? You went into coma stage that lasted two years. That left Chris heartbroken. He had sleepless nights. I saw him cry. Only then I realized his love for you. Chris took care of you, Ruth. He sacrificed his time, money and energy for you. He was there for you even when mom and I weren’t. He had only you. Your recovery recovered him. Don’t break him again. He loves you, Ruth. He will be the happiest person if he knows you are pregnant. He will be a great father, I’m sure.” Roslyn patted Ruth’s shoulder and left the room. In the loneliness, Ruth pondered upon what Roslyn said. Ruth realized she had no reason to leave him except for her selfish excuses. Her short term dream isn’t going to match her husband’s love for her. She recalled everything that he had done for her which was blinded by her selfishness then. Their child needs a father. She realized she would be crazy to miss a husband like that. Ruth left the hospital that day looking forward to meet Chris.

Ruth’s mobile rang when she was dressing up to meet Chris. She answered, grunting, unable to recognize the number, “Miss Ruth Edwards? We are calling from St. Joseph Hospital. Your husband, Mr. Christian Edwards, was involved in an accident earlier. Ma’am, I’m sorry to tell to that he passed away on the way to the hospital. Our deep condolences. We are waiting for your arrival.”

The funeral procession ended an hour ago. Ruth was sitting at the corner of the room emotionless. She simply stared without blinking, at the white casket that contained Chris’s body, lying peacefully without a single scar on him.

Ruth entered the parquet floored room and opened the closet at the corner of the room. She took out a box containing pictures of her and Chris together. Her eyes filled with tears. If only she appreciated him earlier, he would have been very much alive now. He died not knowing she isn’t leaving him. He died not knowing he is going to be a father. He died heartbroken. And it was all her fault. It is true that you will only realize how precious a person is when you lose them or when they are far from you. She learnt that everything and everyone should be appreciated while they last. She also knew that it is too late to regret now.

The box dropped to the floor, scattering its content. There lied a letter, Chris’s last testament to his beloved wife, Ruth.